If You Could Forgive Me, Me!

I’m sorry me

For all the bruises

For the taken voices

For the path i’ve made lost

For the wrong choices

Forgive me me

I’m sorry me

For the care that grow less

For the fears and tears

For the clinging past

For the dark path

Forgive me me

I’m sorry me

For turning off the light

For resting and staying tight

For forgetting to flies

For years and years of lies

Forgive me me

If you could forgive me me

I promise to look above outshine

To count stars and adore the moon again

I promise to make the day free and the night happy

To count blessing and never again plead guilty

If you could forgive me me

I promise to make the rain sings and the poem rhymes

To count every small beauties and sound all the sweet laughs

I promise to always be here with me

To count every inch and ounces of strength i vow

If you could forgive me me
Above all

You will be loved

21/08/2014

00:07

Hero Hati

Hero hati,
Susahnya sendu ini
Tak ada mula tak ada hujungnya
Susahnya hati ini
Tak mahu mula tak mahu akhirnya

Hero hati,
Aku bangga menjadi
Bukan pada apa yang mereka cari
Tapi pada nama yang kau beri
Aku janji berpaksi sampai mati

Hero hati,
Pernah
Jasad aku hilang separuhnya
Tapi separuh pun kau cukupkan untukku
Pernah
Akal aku mencacat sempurnanya
Tapi tak indah pada sempurna kau kata
Jangan takut jatuh
Dari bawah engkau ada

Aku belajar sayang diri
Kalau rindu...aku bawa tinggi

Hero hati aku

Dul Hayati

Status Idea

Bila hujan

Good!

Bila malam

Good!

Bila gembira

Poor!

Bila kecewa

Excellent!!

Hmmmmm......??!!

I Quote Quotes

Don't fake being okay. You only hurt yourself. Be real with what you're going through, just don't let it consume you. Balance.

Your life is your message to the world. Make it inspiring.

Take care of yourself. You cannot adequately love others with no love for self.

Live life to the fullest.

When irritated, I've learned to be silent.

It's difficult to wait, but worse to regret.

If you decide to be weird, be confident about it

Take a risk. You never know what it could lead to.

If money didn't exist, would you still chase your dreams?

We never know until we realize we never knew

You can't fail until you quit.

Sometimes the wrong choices take us to the right places.

Forgive yourself.

Good music can make you either forget everything or remember everything

Be easy. Take your time. You are coming home to yourself

One day you'll just be a memory to some people. Do your best to be a good one.

The scariest part about knowledge is that you can't erase what becomes conscious.

Don't be too quick to forgive someone who isn't truly sorry.

If you don't mean what you say then don't say it.

If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.

Stop being afraid of what could go wrong.

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

Don't be afraid to give yourself everything you've ever wanted in life.

What's for you will not pass you by.

If it's seems easy, you're doing it wrong.

Pusakakan Aku

Sering aku tak dulu mengerti bahasku

Kerap juga aku tak paham tingkahku

Magisnya hanya jika ku berikan waktu

Pada kali kedua selepas sepurnama

Tak pernah gagal ku jumpa makna

Untuk aku yang bebal tak mengerti

Tak ada yang ku impi

Kerna telah aku ajarkan diri

Berpijak dibumi, Jaga diri jaga hati

Jangan asyik terbang melupa tali

Ketawalah aku mengerti

Paranoid diri tak mempercayai

Ya, aku memang begini

Kerana dalamku tak mudah yang lihat isi

Cetekku tak ramai yang celup kaki

Mataku hatiku gelap malam tangis hela hanya aku

Masih aku tak perlukan emas perak gangsamu

Aku pusakakan diriku untukku

Bukalah bila perlu

Bella III

This aint any tales

Of white swan or ugly duckling

I am just a migrate bird trying to fit in

Buying time away for my wild heartbeat, untamed

Hush now bird, forget not to spread your wings

Enough resting and not knowing

This aint home so don’t settle don’t wait

Eat up that last bite and prepare your bid

For some night soon I’ll led dreams and fairies

Back to far far island between rage and serene

So heads up chin in

Have faith, soar and heal

Arjuna Beta dari Fynn Jamal

Tak kanku biarkan walau ribut menyentakmu yang tidur
datang petir menyambar
jengking dan ular–
bonda takkan berundur

nyamanlah arjuna beta
mimpikan yang indah saja
nanti bila kau buka mata
semua tak serupa

kan ada satu ketika kau tak tahu mana nak pergi
jalan betul, anakanda,
tak jelas mata–
ambil yang sarat duri

hiduplah arjuna beta
biarkan jasad yang luka
selama tuhanmu ada
takkan engkau tercela

ngeri tak terbayang mata
bonda takkan ada sentiasa
nanti moga kau tak lupa
bonda memujukmu, anakanda

hiduplah arjuna beta
biarkan jasad yang luka
selama tuhanmu ada
takkan engkau tercela

nyamanlah arjuna beta
mimpikan yang indah saja
nanti bila kau buka mata
semua tak serupa

notakakidiari: Nabila, ingat tak?

Jangan Biar Aku Bersisa

Kini cerah lagi bingkai yang menggantung terus lihatku pada kamu-kamu
Tenteram kejap bulu mataku
Banyaknya hanya keluh pada bibir
Ku tuntut janji kan janji pada hari tertentu

Lagi aku bilang tiga....dua....satu
Pecah dadaku robek semua satu persatu
Marah ku amuk ku dayus pada aku dan kamu
Sudah!
Jangan biar aku sia
Nantikan bersisa

Malam ini dalam selimut berjubahan aku tenang dengan bau itu
Pekat dingin ini telah ku perah berhabis semua
Aku tak mahu merangkak lagi
Meraba mencari jahil yang hina yang sundal pada saat yang aku mahu lupa
Jangan ingatkan aku
Lari bersama aku, rentap gelangku
Biar patah biar hancur aku mahu begitu

Pendosa ini sudah menongkat dagu~~ menunggu
Tak lama lagi aku kan menuntut janjiku pada Tuhanku
Aku kan tinggalkan kamu pada dirimu
Aku kan jawap soalNya satu-satu
Doakan aku ~~~


24/4/2014
00:16

If she's amazing, she won't be easy.
If she's easy, she won't be amazing.
If she's worth it, you won't give up.
If you give up, you're not worthy..
Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you.
You just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.


Bob Marley

Malam membatuk lagi
Demam mungkin
Bunyi lagi hening ~~ bening
Lutut ku pening
Hi saraf. Kau jangan ragam

Ada apa pada langit malam ini?
Pencipta

Lalu ku tekan butang lif ke bintang
Aku intai manusia berdosa
Kasihan

Kadang runtun pada
Kadang lemah pada
Kadang aku tinggalkan juga
Pada lerista

Pada kadang yang macam ini
Pada kadang yang aku curi
Pada kadang yang aku sembunyi
Aku ~~ seronok bukan diri

Sebelum aku pijak lagi bumi rata
Biarlah aku menari aku membuta
Aku muda. Aku jatuh. Aku kata
Mak ~~ Tak lama. 5 minit saja. Ya?

Ah. Syurga

Sudah pendosa
Bangun ~~
Malam dah ganti hari

Ai.......esok jumpa lagi.

Al-Baqarah

Allah tidak menghukum kamu kerana sumpahmu yang tidak kamu sengaja, tetapi Dia menghukum kamu kerana niat yang terkandung dalam hatimu. Allah Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyantun.

Al-Baqarah: 225

Perkataan yang baik dan pemberian maaf lebih baik daripada sedekah yang diiringi tindakan yang menyakiti. Allah MahaKaya, Maha Penyantun.

Al-Baqarah: 263

Setan menjanjikan (menakut-nakuti) kemiskinan kepadamu dan menyuruh kamu berbuat keji (kikir), sedangkan Allah menjanjikan ampunan dan kurniaNya kepadamu. Dan Allah Mahaluas, Maha Mengetahui.

Al-Baqarah: 268

Jika kamu menampakkan sedekah-sedekahmu, maka itu baik. Dan jika kamu menyembunyikannya dan memberikannya kepada orang-orang fakir, maka itu lebih baik bagimu dan Allah akan menghapus sebagian kesalahan-kesalahanmu. Dan Allah Mahateliti apa yang kamu kerjakan.

Al-Baqarah: 271

Bella II

I am not pretty. I am not rich. I can't read maps. I spend plenty. I don't always be friendly. I can look cool but most of the time I am rude. Insecurity.

I can't play guitar. I can't sing well. But I write poems and I keep diaries. I cook well but of course unintentionally. I tried to draw and I do origami. I am not the most famous girl in class. I don't have guys chasing my ass. But I do have enough true friends. For that alone, I am blessed.

I don't count my calories. I eat in bed. I don't always smell nice. I don't name my stuff. I can't act pretty. But I am a child at heart if you can see. I read bedtime stories. I cry whenever I please. I play teddies. I fantasize. I am carefree.

I am not scared of the truth. I've lost track but I managed to pull through. I dwell in my past. I indulge. I've been cheated. I had my fair share of trust. I had moment in life when pain seems unbearable. Tears never seems to end. I had my secret. Occasionally I get scared. I am not sure how I get through that kind of day. But I remember for sure who have stayed.

I always try to speak my right mind. I stare. I don't change to please people. I don't give trust simply. I don't lie the way I feel. I don't buy talks. I don't buy shits. But I love hard. I went as far as I might. I live life differently. I show compassion. And never once I did not be me.

I don't know how to love. But I certainly live. I don't always trust. I push people away. I dictate mistake. I hurt people. But I believe in plain honest. I can't help to judge. I don't normally impressed. Yet I know how to listen and be silent. I get angry. But no later than a day. I will feel guilty. I don't enforce change cause I know how it feels. I don't always open my heart. But the wait always worthwhile. I promise you this.

I often forgive. But I always try not to forget. I wish to remember. All the bittersweet. The pain I have learnt to fight. My drenched sweat. The days of rainbow and sunny bright. To always be true to self and everyone else. But never lose love for myself. For a worthy girl I am, I hope to live and die knowing I have done my best. That much and nothing else.

Ajnabee Yang Aku Pilih

Telah ku selak ensiklopedia berulang-kali 

Pada ketidaktahuan dan kebodohan aku pada segi alam 

Jika ada yang pegun pada tuding jari 

Aku yakin itu lopong buas diri 

Mereka yang lainnya gah menzalimi 

Ah...hiburan semata lagu tidurku ini 

Cerita dongeng arnab dan kura, lapuk! 

Perlahan aku tarik dalam tepung 

Lillahi, aku tak memaksumi diri 

Dia ajnabee yang kupilih 

Masih, haram pada depa jengkal inci

Meneropong awan pelbagai warna 

Aku risau mereka dengar kuatnya degup 

Benar, mustahil pada adrenalin di roma muka 

Penciptaku, halalkan bagiku pada akad dan... 

Malam ini aku tidur dengan mahu 

Rabb, Kau lebih tahu 

27/2/2014 

00:23

Langkah Sumbang

Berjalan lurus itu payah

Dalam mana patut dalam itu dalam

Senang mana patut senang itu senang

Untuk langkah sumbang aku

Berjalan lurus pun bagiku payah

Jadi, tak usah

Berjalan lurus itu payah

Untuk langkah sumbang aku

Jadi Nabila, tak usah

Ingat pesan ayah

12/2/2014

02:59

Muka Surat Sebelah

Hijau, putih, merah, jingga

Markah penuh peperiksaan pertama

Kurang bau, rupa dan warna

Muka surat sebelah

Aku

Bumi asing ini goyang lagi

Kaki yang ku kendong di bahu

Beratnya

Jatuh belum lagi

Beria aku berting-ting

Pada derap malam di inci belakangku

Balik kain balik lampu

Kadang aku toleh

Pada lecur dalam ais

Aku kalah

Pada muka surat sebelah

Aku..............................serah

21:34

7/2/2014

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.


p/s: A beautiful poem shared by my supervisor, Roy Goddard in his comment for my assignment on sociological and psychological ageing. Thank you. I'll make sure I'll remember this.

Bella

Sometimes, when it is night and strangely colder

I'll cry to sleep no one else will hear

But then I'll always remember

Allah's promising dear

I'll find the morning after

If only I go out and look closer

Stand braver

Never waver

Slowly but definitely, I'll be wiser

Repost

 

To be stronger, forget not your tears

To be happier, forget not your forgiveness

My Button 1.0

 

~Mirror~

 

~Squirrel~

 

~Chameleon~

Tanya Sama Hati

Tanya sama pokok apa sebab goyang
Nanti jawap pokok angin yang goncang
Tanya sama langit apa sebab hujan
Nanti jawap langit tanyalah awan

Awan nanti kata aku kandung air
Sampai tempat sejuk aku pun cair
Tengok dalam air nampak bayang-bayang
Campak satu batu bayang pun hilang

Tanya sama hati apa asal sayang
Apakah tandanya nampak di pandang
Kumbang rayu bunga, bulan dan bintangnya
Punya tanda-tanda hubungan mesra

Tanya sama hati benarkah merindu
Ingat masa lena apa mimpimu
Masa berjauhan apa nan dikenang
Bila difahamkan itulah sayang

Jikalau tidak kerana sayang
Kuntuman kasih tak mungkin kembang
Andainya jemu mengganti rindu
Jambangan mesra tentulah layu