Bella II

I am not pretty. I am not rich. I can't read maps. I spend plenty. I don't always be friendly. I can look cool but most of the time I am rude. Insecurity.

I can't play guitar. I can't sing well. But I write poems and I keep diaries. I cook well but of course unintentionally. I tried to draw and I do origami. I am not the most famous girl in class. I don't have guys chasing my ass. But I do have enough true friends. For that alone, I am blessed.

I don't count my calories. I eat in bed. I don't always smell nice. I don't name my stuff. I can't act pretty. But I am a child at heart if you can see. I read bedtime stories. I cry whenever I please. I play teddies. I fantasize. I am carefree.

I am not scared of the truth. I've lost track but I managed to pull through. I dwell in my past. I indulge. I've been cheated. I had my fair share of trust. I had moment in life when pain seems unbearable. Tears never seems to end. I had my secret. Occasionally I get scared. I am not sure how I get through that kind of day. But I remember for sure who have stayed.

I always try to speak my right mind. I stare. I don't change to please people. I don't give trust simply. I don't lie the way I feel. I don't buy talks. I don't buy shits. But I love hard. I went as far as I might. I live life differently. I show compassion. And never once I did not be me.

I don't know how to love. But I certainly live. I don't always trust. I push people away. I dictate mistake. I hurt people. But I believe in plain honest. I can't help to judge. I don't normally impressed. Yet I know how to listen and be silent. I get angry. But no later than a day. I will feel guilty. I don't enforce change cause I know how it feels. I don't always open my heart. But the wait always worthwhile. I promise you this.

I often forgive. But I always try not to forget. I wish to remember. All the bittersweet. The pain I have learnt to fight. My drenched sweat. The days of rainbow and sunny bright. To always be true to self and everyone else. But never lose love for myself. For a worthy girl I am, I hope to live and die knowing I have done my best. That much and nothing else.